You know those days when you are all pepped up for shopping the most irrelevant shit and thinking going to the mall you will find all of those irrelevant shits and that you will be the America’s next supermodel ? Well, THAT day has never found its way into my life till now…
I seriously love the idea of shopping, and try to make myself look as glamorous as Beyoncé’s fart. Hell with it. I always come back home disappointed as a dead walrus.
I go inside the mall waste about an hour deciding which shop would be the best to buy my irrelevant shit from, and when I finally do decide that shop, I make plans to go to another one instead cause I just can’t trust my instincts… Entering the shop , there atleast about 10 girls who are making my self confidence level drop at an alarming level because of their killer surreal good looks. Then I start wondering why the heck should such girls exist in this planet. I try to keep myself from not getting insecure by looking at them and head to the shirts section.
Now for the amazing shortness I am stuck with, the sales people think I am some kind of confused primary school kid ( like seriously , I am not that short ) who had lost her mother in the mall and is stuck in the ” I am too hot for you ” clothes section. They come to me all polite and tell my size can be found in the kids section in the aisle there. At this time I am desperately looking for a long scarf and a fan. Why? To hang that sales person to death.
I later start my journey to buy some Converse for myself and voilà, I am again finding myself surrounded by a bunch of kids in the freaking kids shoe section, cause I was blessed with a Cinderella sized foot.
After I do manage to find myself some clothes, I head home. I dash toward my room and try on all clothes and realise the importance of trial room, cause every freaking dress is either too big or either too tight….. So much for trying to be Beyoncé’s glamorous fart…..
But then I realise two facts of life, 1) I can never be Beyoncé 2) Beyoncé can never be me.
From the not so-