“I don’t want anyone in or out of my family to see any part of me. Could you destroy my body by cremation? I beg of you and my family – don’t have any service for me or remembrance for me. My fiance asked me to marry him in June. I don’t think I would make a good wife for anybody. He is much better off without me. Tell my father, I have too many of my mother’s tendencies.” – Evelyn McHale .
I reach out to my end,
And let my body guide my way down.
The air gently engulfs me,
And I feel the pain slowly wash away.
The white scarf floats away,
Like my last love.
The last love who deserved better,
The last love who will never be mine.
The gasps and screams,
Become the last song I hear.
My stomach twists within,
The uncertainty becomes as certain as ever.
Today, I will kill the confusion,
I will kill my existence.
My past,present and the fake future,
Would have never happened.
I feel the ground
Steadying to catch me.
The crowd’s shattering looks,
Bid me farewell.
I clench on to my pearl,
The only thing that was truly mine.
I close my eyes,
And let the serenity cover me.
The crash and my last heart beat,
Sync along with each other.
The chaos in my head,
But as I start to vaporise,
I watch my last wish getting destroyed.
I watch myself being violently immortalised,
By a click.
I am now termed,
Termed as ‘The most beautiful suicide’.
I am now remembered,
I am now deathless.
Everything I never wished for,
Everything I never wanted to hold on to.
My last wish deserted me,
Just like everything else.
I just want to be forgotten,
I just want the memories to be burnt.
Maybe I asked for too much,
If only I could vanish in another way.
My death, just as useless,
As my life.
I wanted an end,
But got an eternal continuation.
I was inspired to pen this down, after reading this article about Evelyn McHale. She made a simple wish , and we weren’t able to fulfil it. The sickening truth is that, there are many more Evelyn McHales out there…
From the not so-