To the friends that made me.
I have never had any long term friendship. You know, the ones that last for 7 years, 10 years or even more than that! The longest friendship I’ve had, have only lasted 2 years or so.
My mom tells me, there is something wrong with me and that I can’t work enough for the friendship to last long enough till my last second. I’m still struggling with putting in the effort to make sure my friends don’t stray away from me. But sometimes, it just feels like I’m being too selfish and limiting their world within mine.
I am not saying I haven’t had any good friendship over the past 10 years. I did. And I still do. It is just that they keep changing and evolving. It makes me wonder, do we really need friends? Especially when they don’t get to see your whole journey, or neither do you get to see theirs. The answer is, yes, yes you do.
The only thing I’ve learned through being with so many friends at different times of my life is that these are the people that build you. You may not see them after a year, or even a month. But they leave a part of them with you forever. It might be as small as, a toy they gifted you, or as big as, a lesson they taught you. People don’t stay, but their actions do.
I still find a part of my middle school friend in me, when I watch Mr.Bean (as she was the one I used to binge watch the cartoon with), I still find a part of my pen pal, when I write my blog posts, as it was her website that inspired me to open my first ever blog when I was 9.
If you are lucky enough to have found a friend who has stayed with you for as long as you can remember, don’t lose them. At the same time, don’t fence them and keep them all to yourself. Remember, good things are meant to be shared with the world (a thought instilled in me by one of the best friends I have ever had). I was (and still am) a very possessive person, I don’t like sharing my friends with anyone and get really drained when someone else evades my world. But lately, I’m learning to accept the fact that each of us has our own life to live.
We cannot always please just one person. It is all about pleasing our soul, and doing what it wants. And that might mean, getting new friends, having to say goodbye to the old ones. But that doesn’t mean you are cheating or betraying anyone. For you have given and gotten the biggest gift of life, time. Just count all the seconds one of your friend has spent for you, listening to your laugh, your cry, your stories and your lies.
Another thing is that, as you grow, your friendships grow with you, they go from classroom buddies to your existential crisis buddies. You go from fighting for what board games to play to what happened when you were drunk last night.
Just deal with the fact that people move on, you move on, but friendship doesn’t really end. Your friendship with your kinder garden buddy still lives, somewhere in the classrooms you both puked in and the playground you hit him up in. Your friendship with your current best friend still lives, somewhere in the hour-long talk on the phone, and the cafe you both spilled hot chocolate in.
Make friends, for long term or short term. Learn from them, teach them what you know. Grow together, and make them happy. That’s all that matters.
From the not so-