The number of times I’ve wanted to make friends in a social setting, but ruined the scenario by making it awkward for everyone under the fan, is more than the times I’ve ranted in here.
Before I move ahead with briefing my life as a shy extrovert, I would like to clear out the common misconception about the overlapping ideas on extroverts, introverts, confidence, and shyness. Being an extrovert or introvert is a personality trait that signifies whether you get your energy from being around people or by being alone. Whereas, being a confident or shy person has more to do with how you approach people and socialize.
Being a shy extrovert, I’ve found myself in situations wanting to say something or enter a conversation but deciding against it just because I’ve felt too shy. Small talk is a concept that is completely out of the window for me. I can hardly pull out a word or two before making the person standing in front of me uncomfortable.
A lot of people who know me will be surprised to read about this side of mine because I’m generally seen as a confident and “Here-Hold-My-Cup” kind of a person. But I guess I’ve just been really good at faking my confidence all these years. The biggest trouble of living a paradoxical life is that being an extrovert I gain energy from being around people, but the shy part of me graciously runs away from them. So I often find myself having really bad days, staying in my room, and sulking about not having enough people in my life to vibe with.
If you’re still confused about differentiating a shy extrovert and an introvert here is an example – an introvert is the one who doesn’t even want to attend the party whereas the shy extrovert has probably been waiting for this party since her birth, and can’t wait to meet new people, but when it actually comes to interaction you might find <pronoun> stuttering for words.
(Also, let’s not even talk about the anxiety attacks I get when the spotlight falls on me.)
At this point, I should probably mention that it isn’t all dark sky and faded roses for us. Once we get past our barrier (just give us time, and we’ll be fine.), we put ourselves and our ideas out there for the world to grab on to.
So the next time you find yourself standing in front of a shy extrovert, skip the small talk and provoke their deepest interests. Trust me, we aren’t all that dangerous, all we need is your friendship and a shot at the bar to open up.